Making Stars in the Sky (for Frankie)

 
Walking across the sunlight sky,
Stepping on clouds, looking back now and then,
Where you afraid to die?
 
What was ahead of you that you felt you had to go?
Was the love we felt for you not enough?
Or was it time for your spirit to soar and grow?
 
Since the time you left, my life has changed.
At first, I was so lost.
Everything felt so strange.
 
Now as time has gone on, I know you are fine.
You’re still in my heart, where you will always be mine.
 
But, I am different now and not the same person I once was.
The pain, the mourning changed me.
I am not sure why I guess just because.
 
I build on my strength from the day before.
I try to live my best and to do so much more.
 
I love harder, now. I try new things.
I reach for the stars.
I take time to listen to the bird when it sings.
 
I always keep a shoe ready to drop, for the next love of mine that is lost.
I can not be shocked again, and pay such an awful cost.

Your death changed my world, it rattled and it shook.
There is a small piece of my heart in your pocket that you took.
 
Remember me as you walk through the clouds and the rain.
Remember so that you find me when it’s my time to go.
Remember the love I have for you and remember all of my pain.
 
Be happy among the clouds, among the God of the light.
Be happy and laugh, making stars in the night.

Remember me, as I remember you.
The smiles, the laughs, and the joy that we shared.
Remember me, because I cared.
 
 
 

Holidays

I want to celebrate again
to enjoy a holiday
from its beginning to its end.

To smile on my birthday,
all throughout the day.
To enjoy a sunset,
without a dark cloud coming my way.

I want to drink a coffee
without wanting to tell you a joke.
I want to hear a song
without my heart feeling broke.

I want to look at your photo
without wanting to cry.
I want to hear you laugh
just once more before I die.

When you turned away,
you broke my heart.
It shattered in so many pieces
I can’t fix it, I don’t even know where to start.

So happy holiday, where ever you are.
I still love you from this earth to the heavens and the stars.

The Cloud Over My Head

Being genuinely hurt by someone never really stops hurting.

The pain and grief of that person loom over you, every happy moment, every birthday and present.  

Like a dark cloud ever waiting to pour on you like a thick dark, cold rain.  

It is unforgiving like a storm.  

Unapologetic like the thunder, and strikes like lightning through your very soul.

Your heart can’t even feel the pain anymore, because it stopped pumping long ago.

You are a shell of turmoil and tears.

When the tears come,  they are a tsunami of a downpour.  

Hot against your cheeks.  

Rolling down to your now pierced lips, as they quiver at the touch.  

Finally, like all storms, the tears will stop flowing, but they are ever present waiting for the next downfall.

Building up with each new memory that you make without that person. Growing hotter and more angry with each old photo you look at, and each silly item, like a pair of shoes, that person would have liked.

The tears build in the cloud that is now ever-present over your head, waiting to explode one morning again as you drink your coffee and think of that person again.

Then in one single gulp- it explodes again, and the rains begin to pour once more.

So is the cycle of real pain.

 

I Wish

I wish for you the stars that light up the nights dark sky

I wish for you the birds that soar as they go by

I wish for you the sun that warms us when we are cold

I wish for you the moon that calms our mind when we are old.

I wish for you the flowers that brighten up a day

I wish for you the giggles of children as they play

I wish for you all the riches buried deep beneath the earth

I wish for you the awe that a mother feels after she has given birth

I wish for you all that is tiny and can fit snuggly in your pocket

I wish for you the memories that fit perfectly in lockets.

I wish for you a cup of coffee as it warms your hands and heart

I wish for you to reach your goals and finish what you start

I wish for you more than anything I own

I wish all this for you because inside my heart you are stitched and you are sewn

The Troll of Gratiot

There once lived the Troll of Gratiot, who was as greedy as she could be.

She stole from most she knew, including her family.

The Troll lived in seclusion, away from most in town.

She would stock pile her goods around her, and always wore a frown.

 

Now the old Troll had once been quite different,

or appeared to be, they say.

She once wore a smile quite bright and would laugh often, but it didn’t stay.

 

Instead as time went on, she turned her back on the good things she had.

She forgot all the morals and values she was once taught,

and the value of family, which is sad.

 

She curdled up in her greed, now hefty and full of spite.

She’d take coins from the children.

Then she would squander them all the night.

 

She smoked and lied and stole.

Lying from one tale to the next.

Never realizing what she had done

or caring who it effects.

 

As time went on she got lonely,

as time has a way to do.

She could have been surrounded by family and friends,

but to all of those she had screwed.

 

I heard that the Troll was now miserable as

often grumbling and giving a grunt.

For life had gone on without her or her money,

she is alone with no one to confront.

 

So, don’t be like the Troll of Gratiot.

Think before you speak.

Don’t take what does not belong to you,

and don’t live your life as a greedy sneak.